I was just thinking about what makes a case of PsA severe, and more specifically, the severity of my own case.
I’m 29, suffered for as long as I can remember, but only diagnosed earlier this year (which is the case for so many of us).
I’ve been unable to work, but I’ve been able to go to school (with help of disability services, very understanding instructors and the odd nap in the library).
I can’t sleep the whole night through, can’t sit or stand for too long. Walking does help, I still can enjoy going for hikes when I’m feeling good enough.
I have this disease in all areas of my spine. It felt until just recently that someone hit my back with a baseball bat. I can’t bend as far as I used to, no matter how much I stretch. When I try to touch my toes and cheat and bend my knees without realizing it. And I still don’t make it. I also feel pain and swelling in my hands, my ankles are killers, and my knees act up.
I gave myself an ulcer due to all the NSAID use.
But even as I type all this (and I’m positive I’m missing a lot of symptoms) I don’t feel like my case is that severe.
Maybe I’m more used to it by now? About 2 to a year and a half ago I’m sure I would’ve told a different story.
I think the difference is that I am better equipped for dealing with it now. I have found a lot more humour in my daily life and enjoy the little things and quiet moments a lot more. I really enjoy the peace and quiet. I like having a good excuse for not doing things I don’t feel like doing.
I’m a lot easier on myself now. I weight more than I ever have, and sometimes I feel like such an unkempt mess. But that’s what blush is for! Seriously, try putting some bright pink blush on your cheeks. Voila! It helps my mood and makes me feel fancy!
Perhaps I’ve just grown up a lot in the last while, but I really feel like I’ve found the silver lining. My life hasn’t stopped, it’s changed. I’ll be okay after all.