A Blessing in Disguise

OK, I’m going to go out on a limb here and post something deeply personal. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. Here’s the personal bit: it may be one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I know a lot of you are thinking I’m crazy at this point. Let me explain. For the first six years of my son’s life I worked 70-80+ hours a week, usually over all seven days. I felt that the best thing I could do as a dad was earn as much as possible to ensure he would have a good quality of life. I was sure he would look back as an adult and be proud of his father’s work ethic. My wife and I even decided to not have another child because of my work schedule. When the doctor told me it was something more than just the aches and pains of an active lifestyle (I was having serious trouble walking and had inflammation/stiffness in toes, fingers, ankles, knees, and wrists), I was seriously freaked out. The first specialist I saw said it looked like some form of degenerative joint disease. I was probably more depressed that day than I have ever been in my entire life. Once I got past that, I took a very long look at what really mattered to me in life. Then I cried for a while. I realized that I was a fool for thinking that it was more important to earn a little extra than to spend more than six hours a week with my son. I should correct myself here, I didn’t cry for a while, I wept. Getting this disease made me realize what’s really important in my life. My boss was willing to let me switch from 12-14 hour days to five or so hours starting around 4 pm. Am I earning less? Sure, but I spend all morning and early afternoon with my son. On Fridays we often go in and have lunch with my wife. We a hoping to have another child before this time next year :slight_smile: Were it not for PsA I would likely still be missing out on life and might not have realized it while there was still time to change it. Yes, I am thankful for my disease. It’s a high price to pay, but for the lesson I’ve learned it’s the bargain of the century. I’m posting this in the hopes that it will encourage others to look for the good things that may have happened as a part of their disease.

Bumble it's funny how being diagnosed with a disease can change your whole life for the better. If more people stayed home with their kids their would be alot of happy kids out there. Money isn't everything thats for sure. We are getting our grandchildren for 5.5 weeks in July. They are 2 and 3.5. I have hired a weekly housekeeper and have wrangled all my family in to help daily and weekly. I can hardly wait. My son and DIL are getting worried about leaving them already. At first it was "oh great we can sleep. Now its hmm what are we going to do?" hehehe I got the better deal :) good luck to you I hope you have a girl next time :)

Our first 5 were boys..... If we had started with girls it wouldn't have gotten that far!!! (Not really)

Bumble, what a great and philosophical approach! One of the good things for me has been meeting some great people on this site, people whom I would have never run into otherwise. You're truly seeing that silver lining.

Good luck with your family plans!

Seenie

It is so true, sooner or later you look at the blessing side of it. Yes, if I still worked, I could surely buy the kid and grandkids more, but so what, now I'm here, so when I am well enough for them to come, no work schedule, quotas, or the stress that comes with the job. I miss the productivity, the accomplishments, and sure the money. I would never know these little ones the way I do.. I totally agree with trees about having happier kids who spend more time with their parents and grandparents. Look how excited she it, and they will NEVER forget the time they spent with her!

A hard lesson learned. But God bless that you have a wonderful family and another little one on the way. And that you now can see that YOU are the most priceless gift you could give them, not some THING. Your children will be delighted to have your presence and you will be blessed to spend the extra time with them. I'm happy for you to have more time with them.

And my blessing is that I finally got to write and finish that mystery novel I'd always wanted to write but never got completed. Yes, thanks to my illness and down time. I tried to put a lot of creativity and fun into it, remembering the wonderful books I read as a child that inspired my imagination.

So, yes, my illness has given me something that I never would have had without it.

Yes, yes, and this too! Thanks for reminding me of this blessing, Sweenie!

Seenie said:

Bumble, what a great and philosophical approach! One of the good things for me has been meeting some great people on this site, people whom I would have never run into otherwise. You're truly seeing that silver lining.

Good luck with your family plans!

Seenie



Let me know when you get published, I'll be at the bookstore doors waiting to get in that morning!~

Petunia Girl said:

And my blessing is that I finally got to write and finish that mystery novel I'd always wanted to write but never got completed. Yes, thanks to my illness and down time. I tried to put a lot of creativity and fun into it, remembering the wonderful books I read as a child that inspired my imagination.

So, yes, my illness has given me something that I never would have had without it.

Thanks everyone. I’m glad I’m not the only one who has had good things come out of something like this. I debated whether or not to post that all day yesterday. In the end, I decided that if even one person looked at their “silver lining” after reading my story, it was worth it.

And yes, my wife and son are a HUGE blessing. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wonder what I’ve done to earn such a wonderful family. I guess that’s why it’s a called a blessing and not a reward. I pray that I’m able to be the dad and husband that they deserve :slight_smile:

You already are, Bumble, don't you think we can feel YOUR heart? If you can't find the blessings, what is the sense of the struggle to get well? So glad you posted this, it will go on for a long time!

Thanks SK :slight_smile: