I don't know why I'm here other than that I need help.
I'm writing to you with a very urgent situation and I have no where else to go. I'm almost 25 years old and my dad, who is 48, has suffered through psoriatic arthritis for my entire life. He's been to countless doctors and specialty physicians and has found no relief. On the rare occasion he DOES find relief, he uses the medicine until his body builds up a tolerance to it, and then he's at square one.
The thing is: his condition has driven him into such a deep depression and he is contemplating suicide and it is tearing our family up inside thinking about this. We know there has to be another option that hasn't been found yet but we don't know where to look! Please tell us you have answers. What is the next step? No one in our family knows what to do to save my dad's life.
The pain is so bad for him that he no longer wants to live. His doctor told him that if his current medicine doesn't work then he's out of options. I just don't know who to go to.
I don't live with him or near him. I live more than 500 miles away. I wish I could go home but unfortunately I have to work and can't pay my bills if I don't.
He won't tell anyone (especially his doctor) that he's feeling this depression.
Step one is crisis intervention with the primary care doc. He has to get emotionally stable first. If he is an immediate threat to himself, try to convince him to the emergency room or at least call the crisis line number and talk to someone. If he won’t do either of those things, and you are very worried, the police can intervene and hold him at a hospital for 72 hours. In most states this isn’t a criminal thing, but a safety matter. Once he is stable and not a threat to himself, he will be discharged. During that time he will be evaluated by doctors and a social worker at the least.
Once he is stable, he needs some sort of pain management to help him cope with the pain until his biologic or DMARD or whatever starts to work. Also, if his doc is telling him that he is at the end of the road for treatment, he needs a new doc.
I too have daily pain. Some days are worse than others, but I have good pain management that let’s me cope day to day. No one has to hurt all the time.
LLLindsayy, you’re in a really difficult situation. I agree with Grumpy: the primary care doc needs to know about this. If your Dad isn’t going to tell him, you will have to.
You should know that deep, unrelenting depression is part of this disease for many of us. There is treatment for depression, and your Dad’s doctor can and should help with that. But that’s longer term than your immediate problem.
You need to tell anybody who could possibly help your Dad. His doctor, his friends, his extended family. If you think his life is at stake, this is no time to keep secrets.
Under the Discussion tab above is the Crisis Line number. Here’s the information:
Are you in crisis? Please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
INTERNATIONAL World-Wide Suicide & Crisis Hotlines http://suicidehotlines.com/international.html
Everyone needs to talk it out sometimes!
Please call the number right now and discuss your problem with them. They will be able to help you decide how best to help your Dad.
The psoriasis foundation is good, but the immediate problem is his safety. One of the crisis lines would be the best for either you or he to call. You could call and ask them to help you come up with a plan.