Hi everybody,
I joined a couple months ago when somehow I came across this forum while I was searching for more info about PsA. My story is on my page, so I'll try not to rewrite what I stated there.
I've been looking at photos and reading others' stories as well as entering into some of the discussions on here, and I keep coming across new stuff--like this discussion.
I think my PsA is a little different from most of the people on here because mine has been a slower progression. I feel fortunate that it waited until my late 50s before it started really acting up, because I don't know how some of you cope with raising kids and feeling so crappy! I have 5 grandkids who I am very involved with, and it is so tiring sometimes--but I love them so much and need to spend a lot of time with them and our adult children, too. I feel like they are my life and having them around is good therapy!
My rheumy told me when he gave me the PsA diagnosis a few years ago that my PsA would most likely continue as it was and I felt assured that the ups and downs (flares) would continue to be manageable without DMARDS or biologics. I've had some really bad neuropathy in my feet, which was cured by taking 10mg Nortriptyline for about a year (the neuropathy went away but I still have sore feet--just not unbearably sore). Last year, he strongly recommended a biologic. I told him I wasn't ready for that, so he tried to get me to agree to go on Sulfasalazine. I just couldn't do it....especially because he said it could damage my liver so they would watch that very closely, and the Sulfasalazine wouldn't help my psoriasis.
My psoriasis has gradually worsened over the past few years along with the PsA. I guess I have to accept the fact that this is not going to miraculously go away, but I don't feel I'm as sick as a lot of the members who have told their stories here. Earlier today I told myself to not be so down about this! There are so many people suffering with so many bad things--and young people! Sure, I've had psoriasis since I was about 22, but it never got me down. I guess the worry about being deformed, in pain and possibly handicapped because of the PsA is overwhelming for me! I'm not athletic, but sort of a workaholic, and that's how people know me and expect me to be. My kids have told me I've changed so much in the past few years....it's hard because they're telling me I'm not the same happy person I used to be. I was good at cheering people up and making everyone around me happy--not the one who would EVER get depressed about ANYTHING! They tell me I need an anxiety pill, but I refuse to admit I'm anxious about this disease or anything else. I want to be the person I was 10 years ago.....
I wanted to mention here that I have learned so much in the last couple of weeks on this site....I already purchased the book "Psoriatic Arthritis-The Facts"--thank you very much, Seenie. It arrived yesterday and I will be reading tomorrow (today was dance recital day for my twin granddaughters, plus my grandson's 3rd birthday--so no time to read!!!). Just from reading the discussions on here I have made some decisions about meds already. I like what I've read about Enbrel, but most of what I've read about Methotrexate is negative. (Plus my mom took Methotrexate for polymyalgia and it was discontinued due to bad side effects.) I think I've already written somewhere on a discussion that I proceed with caution always--that's why I didn't get on an airplane until I was 59!! So, a life-change like taking a biologic (which I would call a "big gun") is going to be well thought-out.
Okay, this is getting crazy long....just want to say thanks to all of you caring people for reading my story, and I welcome your feedback!!!