It's a head game

I hate when I have a new ache… wondering if the ankle I stepped on wrong will haunt me from now on or is that new dull pain in my back from cleaning the floors yesterday or is IT (psa) attacking there now.

I’m scared to even acknowledge a new ache sometimes, terrified somehow I will alert my body to a new place to attack.

I probably sound crazy.

It’s not something I sit around trying to focus on, it’s just in the back of my mind.

There was a time when I trusted my body to heal and had faith that discomfort was only temporary… a trust that has shattered now.

I feel like I am my bodies jilted partner.

Eventually it's just a repeat!!

Two mantras I live by:

Nobody ever died from discomfort.


Pain is just a thing.

This is not to sound flippant, just that life goes on, and pain will always be a part of it, so it is best to REALLY accept it. Don't give it any power over you. Just acknowledge it and move on.

No matter how you try to accept it, it can still get you down if it's day in and day out with no relief! I was to the point where I didn't care to live a long life if it meant always being in such pain....I really think the pain can kill you, if it's inflammation. That's hard on your heart. My heart always felt tired--don't know how to explain that feeling--but it was complete exhaustion, I guess. I dread thinking of the day when Enbrel stops working for me -shudder- too scary!!!