"How are you?"

General
1

So how do you respond to the question "How are you?". I know people mean well but I am not sure how to answer that question anymore. I have a chronic immune disorder. Chances are I am always going to be some level of not great but I am sick of whining. My husband, my mom, close friends - I will whine to them. Co-workers, acquaintances at church, etc. - I don't really want to get in to the details of my health at every turn. I was in a wheelchair for a bit this summer, then using a cane.. now that I am walking unsupported I think people believe I am healed. I wish.

So what do you say? Do you just smile and say you are fine? Do you tell people how you REALLY are? Do you try to explain that your normal is always a little miserable?

2

I know how you feel… I find even when I try to hide my pain physical or emotional, my friends say what’s really wrong or you don’t sound very good. If I go out shopping with them and I’m limping, they say oh why are you limping? You ok? And mostly I say yes I’m fine my knee or foot are just bugging me. But sometimes I want to scream at the top of my lungs that I have and auto immune disease, which I’ve already told you a million times and sometimes the pain and burning are so bad that I almost want to cut my own foot off!.. But other than that I’m fine! LoL
I feel like I don’t want to have to explain it all the time but I also really would like some understanding, how do you find the balance?

3

What I try to say is today is a good day or today is not so good. Thank you for asking.

4

"I'm upright."

"I'm doing good, all things considered."

"Hanging in there!"

"Ok ... and you?"

"You really don't want to know!"

"That's a beautiful necklace - where did you get it?"

or if it's one of a select group of friends, "Horrible, but that's nothing new!" and perhaps get into more detail.

http://rannygahoots.blogspot.com/2012/04/how-do-you-feel.html

5

If I can fake it - I do. But usually they don't ask unless it is obvious and then I say - not great. No details required. or "been better"