Awake Again!

Well, here it is, 3:33 A.M. and once again I am awakened by the never ending pain. Yesterday was my Methotrexate day and everything is always intensified on that day. I have been in a terrible flare for the last month. Fortunately, I had quite a few days of vacation time left so I have been off of work since Dec. 23. I am already dreading going back on Tuesday. My feet feel like all of the bones in them are broken and they are going to explode at any minute. My lower back is killing me, I have my usual Methotrexate headache and my stomach is upset. I went so far as to purchase a new mattress this week hoping that just maybe it would help. But of course not! Thankfully, my trusted feather bed and heated mattress pad have helped somewhat. Next Friday I meet with my Rheumatologist to discuss a new treatment plan. Not because I want to, but because my insurance is making Humira out of my reach. I have been on it for a year and it has helped considerably. I am so afraid that my alternatives won’t be as promising. I guess I will find out soon enough. I feel like I have let my little granddaughters down this week. They are four and six and they are my world. I should have let them stay for a night or two, but I have needed this time to try and rest so I am able to feel half way decent when I go back to work. Sometimes I don’t know how much longer I can keep dragging myself into work. Oh well, enough with the complaining, I just needed to get this out. Thanks to everyone on this website, you seem like a wonderful group of friends living with Psa.

hopefully you are feeling better?keep in mind that there are lots of good medications out there to try, and always more being developed everyday!

i beat myself up about letting my family down too all the time, but we have to take care of our bodies. Have you ever considered self-employment??

Hi Georgia, Amazingly I sleep pretty well most of the time. A king bed with a 2 inch memory foam on top and lots of pillows to place between legs, under arms, support back, etc, does the job for me. When I get up in the middle of the night or in the morning I am extremely stiff and sore, but I usually sleep well. I too have felt like I have let my family and friends down at times. It is hard to include yourself in all the activities while dealing with all the pain and stiffness.