# What's The Point? **URL:** \ **Category:** Blog\ **Created:** [June 3, 2012, 12:07pm UTC](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/t/whats-the-point/4853 "2012-06-03T12:07:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![nym](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/nym/32/65_2.png) [@nym](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/u/nym)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 12:07pm UTC](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/t/whats-the-point/4853/1 "2012-06-03T12:07:48Z")
From my blog, Rannygahoots: [http://rannygahoots.blogspot.com/2012/05/whats-point.html](http://rannygahoots.blogspot.com/2012/05/whats-point.html) What's the point in inviting her if she's only going to cancel out on us? What's the point in asking, if she's just going to say, "if I feel up to it." What's the point in calling/visiting if she's going to be too tired or distracted to talk for long? The point is that she wants to live her life, even if that means making plans and having to cancel them. The point is, knowing she's still included and her friendship still valued is priceless and helps her get through the rough days. She hopes her friends realize that the invitation means the world to her, even if she can't handle going out or is busy with other things. The point is that although many things can interfere with having a coherent, cohesive conversation, it doesn't mean that she won't still have fun, make wonderful memories, or find joy when spending time with friends. Whether it's due to having small children, health issues, no transportation, or anything else that might hinder her ability to be socially available whenever she wishes, she wants to enjoy her life and her friendships. She wants to live her life to the fullest NOW. She wants to know people care about her. And it probably breaks her heart when she has to cancel or can't participate, but not as much as it breaks her heart to not be invited, or called, or visited. Give your friend a call. Invite yourself over to treat her to coffee or tea. Give her a break. Give her a hug. Give her a hand. Bring her a meal. Include chocolate. Or wine. Or both. Let her know that you miss her. Listen and offer love, even if you don't understand what she's going through. What's the point? Friendship. ---
**Author:** ![Armando\_A](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/armando_a/32/443_2.png) [@Armando\_A](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/u/Armando_A)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 1:20pm UTC](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/t/whats-the-point/4853/2 "2012-06-03T13:20:20Z")
I'm grabbing it for my responses to What-to-Do-to-Comfort-a-Sick-Friend list. ---
**Author:** ![SK1](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/sk1/32/512_2.png) [@SK1](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/u/SK1)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 1:39pm UTC](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/t/whats-the-point/4853/3 "2012-06-03T13:39:56Z")
Well said, nym! Isn't this a sad fact of our life? So glad we have this 'home' to come to to share our tears and our laughter to get us through the day and night! I think our friends should really think about publishing some of this info, IMAGINE the people who could be reached? Thanks for putting this into words for us! Wishing you well, SK ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_O](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/scott_o/32/3_2.png) [@Scott\_O](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/u/Scott_O)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:42pm UTC](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/t/whats-the-point/4853/4 "2012-06-04T19:42:06Z")
Love this post, wonderful NYM. :) ---
**Author:** ![Petunia\_Girl](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/petunia_girl/32/536_2.png) [@Petunia\_Girl](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/u/Petunia_Girl)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/t/whats-the-point/4853/5 "2012-06-06T23:33:22Z")
Wow. Just read the blog. Powerful message! You should submit it to a national paper too, like Anne Landers or something. This is something that needs to be seen all around the world. You're a powerful writer and we're lucky to have you here. Thank you for putting into words so many emotions that we feel but cannot necessarily put into words ourselves. ---
**Author:** ![rustydog1973](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/rustydog1973/32/370_2.png) [@rustydog1973](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/u/rustydog1973)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 3:36am UTC](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/t/whats-the-point/4853/6 "2012-06-07T03:36:50Z")
Well written. When people no longer can be bothered to make an effort to invite you, then you feel as thougj your self-esteem has taken another hit. ---
**Author:** ![nym](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/nym/32/65_2.png) [@nym](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/u/nym)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 3:46am UTC](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/t/whats-the-point/4853/7 "2012-06-09T03:46:16Z")
Thanks, everyone!!! ---
**Author:** ![Renie1](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/renie1/32/563_2.png) [@Renie1](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/u/Renie1)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 6:56am UTC](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/t/whats-the-point/4853/8 "2012-06-22T06:56:06Z")
Nym, this is awesome. Could I post it at the FMS group too ? With credit to you, of course. ---
**Author:** ![nym](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex019/user_avatar/discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/nym/32/65_2.png) [@nym](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/u/nym)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 11:52am UTC](https://discussion.livingwithpsoriaticarthritis.org/t/whats-the-point/4853/9 "2012-06-22T11:52:27Z")
Renie - Yes! Please do share! If you could link to the blog, that would be awesome as well (rannygahoots.blogspot.com) Thanks so much!