Not sure really why I am posting this. I guess I just wanted to share my experience and maybe hear from others if anyone wants to add.
I am a big dreamer. I don't mean daydreams of fantasies about lots of wealth and adventures, I mean regular night time, while I am asleep dreams. I always seem to have been and they have been part of me catching up to any changes I might have about my own self concept.
I know this is not a big deal, but last night I had my first PsA dream. That is the first dream where I had PsA. Of course it was a spy thriller, cold war type of affair. I was being chased and couldn't get the baddie nor could I escape because of the PsA stopping me....hands and feet wouldn't work.
I knew it was going to come at some point but nonetheless I was still surprised.
I've not had one of these as far as I can recall. But I love dreams, even nightmares as long as they're not too scary. Sometimes I'm just plain out of sorts and a dream, pleasant or not, just seems to straighten me out.
Was it a horrible dream? Or kind of matter of fact?
Sounds like you're having a bit of anxiety about the future possibilities of PsA and your brain is working it out in your dreams. Any more PsA dreams, or just the one?
Sorry I haven't replied before now. It is a busy time made a bit more tricky by being back in the gap since going off arava.
Sybil the dream was like watching a well made 1960s spy thriller so even though it has shaken me I still think to myself....good on you you made a good movie there :-) if I am going to have a confronting dream at least I can try for an Oscar for cinematography and directing!
Nym I think you are right. There is certainly some anxiety showing. I think it is me adjusting to life with PsA, and because PsA is like shifting sands it's a struggle to work out what I am adjusting to...I keep thinking ...'OK this is it, this is how I will be now' and then the PsA shifts and Ifind I need to adjust to something else. I feel fine about it now but it certainly did get me reflecting on how my sense of self has had to make some adjustments.
Think I will start working on the sequel...Opening scene....me, tranformed by biologics, parachuting behind enemy lines....